The reaching is the worst. The hands in the air. I see them coming.

I see hands and I feel them on my body. I can’t see hands as something friendly anymore. I see my own hands and I see their skin under it. I can’t keep washing my hands until it’s gone because it’s still there. There’s no way to wrap myself so tightly that I would disappear. I can’t wrap myself into invisibility. Yet I feel invisible. Like I had a major scar on my face yet no one but me saw it. As if it would keep bleeding and paint me red. I kept losing so much blood but no one saw my veins empty